Not that it’s a surprise, but R. Kelly was acquitted of all child porn charges today. It took them 6 years to go to trial, and the alleged female victim, who was as young as 13 at the time of the supposed crime, is now 23. As everyone in the world has read, the large mole that Mr. Kelly (who’s music is a fucking joke) has on his back was not visible on the man that appeared on the tape that was shown to the jury, and was the prosecutions only piece of real evidence.

What really scares me is that if it wasn’t R. Kelly peeing on that little girl in the video, then who was it? Some child pee-er on-er has been roaming free for years now, being allowed to urinate on any little girl he wants with no legal recourse!! He probably wised up and stopped video taping that shit once he realized that R. Kelly was about to take the rap for his pissings, but I have a hard time believing he stopped cruising 8th grade dances looking for chicks to use as human urinals.

Wanted: One child pisser that looks exactly like a shitty R & B singer minus a mole on his back.

Tags: acquitted | child porn | mole | piss | R Kelly sucks | R. Kelly | urine | video tape | yoda

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