Dude you can’t make this kind of shit up. Black Lemurs in Madagascar hunt down Giant Millipedes, biting their head not hard enough to inflict mortal injuries, but just hard enough to coax the millipede into secreting its venomous juices, which the lemurs rub all over their bodies and get stoned as motherfuckers. Recreational zoopharmacognosy? Maybe Terrence McKenna was right!!111

Reviewing the top albums of 1981. A little bizarre, especially when he gets to John Lennon.

Apparently, the coyotes of Southern California have decided that children would make delicious dinners:

Wardens have spotted the coyote that tried to drag a 2-year-old girl from her front yard Tuesday in Lake Arrowhead, about 65 miles east of Los Angeles, but did not have a clear shot to fire. They have since set up traps for it. Authorities were also investigating reports of two possible attacks earlier this year in the same resort town in which a coyote may have bitten two young children in the buttocks as their father barbecued on the deck.

In the latest case, police said her mother was photographing the toddler and her siblings in front of the house when she ran inside to put the camera down. That’s when a coyote tried to make off with the toddler. The girl was treated for wounds to the head and neck, but was expected to survive. Dotti Edwards, a neighbor, came home after the attack and spotted a scrawny coyote in the street. Her neighbors have complained of coyotes in recent weeks with reports of the wild animals sleeping in yards and pestering residents.

“They’re so brazen right now,” she said. “They just stand there and look at you.”

Earlier, a coyote attacked a 2-year-old girl playing in a city park in Chino Hills, a suburb 30 miles east of Los Angeles that is connected to a state park.

The next day, a coyote in the same place made a beeline for another child, but the father scared it away. Since last year, there have been seven coyote attacks in the Chino Hills area, including four in which children were bitten. State wildlife officials have killed 23 coyotes to protect the public

“If they see a young child and they have a chance, yeah they’ll take it,” said Kevin Brennan, a state wildlife biologist.

The problem will be easy enough to solve however. We’ll just keep building building McMansions and suburbs over the land where coyotes have lived for a bajillion years, keep shooting them whenever they act like coyotes, then wait until there’s like three left before deciding that we might actually like to keep them around, for posterity. The American way!

It’s a good day for the forces of reason. Today, the California Supreme Court ruled that California’s ban on same-sex marriage is unconstitutional, and hereby void. This means that homosexuals will now be allowed to legally marry each other in the state.

From CNN:

“There can be no doubt that extending the designation of marriage to same-sex couples, rather than denying it to all couples, is the equal protection remedy that is most consistent with our state’s general legislative policy and preference,” said the 120-page ruling.

It said that the state law’s language “limiting the designation of marriage to a ‘union between a man and a woman’ is unconstitutional, and that the remaining statutory language must be understood as making the designation of marriage available to both opposite-sex and same-sex couples.”

With the ruling, California becomes the second state to allow same-sex couples to legally wed. Massachusetts adopted the practice in 2004, and couples don’t need to be state residents to wed there.

Vermont, New Jersey, New Hampshire and Connecticut permit civil unions, while California has a domestic-partner registration law. More than a dozen other states give gay couples some legal rights.

Seven other jurisdictions around the world have legalized same-sex marriage: Belgium, Netherlands, Spain, South Africa and the Canadian provinces of British Columbia, Ontario, and Quebec.

MSNBC newscaster Keith Olbermann made some very harsh criticisms of President Bush and his recent comments in an online interview. Most thoroughly lambasted would be Bush’s remarks on giving up golf in wake of the Iraqi war. Read key transcriptions and view Olbermann’s commentary here.

Dolly Parton is apparently not too thrilled about being the subject of one of Howard Stern’s trademark audio book remixes:

Country legend Dolly Parton isn’t flattered by a recent Howard Stern parody, in which the satellite radio host mashed up Parton quotes to make it sound as if the singer were spewing offensive and racist remarks. In a post on her official website, Parton is quoted as saying she has “never been so shocked, hurt and humiliated” in her life, and even hints and at potentially suing the shock jock.

Check out the clip in question below. I think it’s funnier than shit, but I’m also a fucking asshole.