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The Incredible Penis
Author: Ms. Nickels 3,250 views21 May
Since Spencer and I seem to be consumed by pornography today, remember when I wrote about how there has been this strange “penis theme” happening in my life? Everywhere I turned, there was something phallic begging for my attention. And it’s still happening… My roommate and I have had this on-going discussion regarding penises of the avian kind.
“Have you ever seen two birds doin’ it?”
“Why, no! Come to think of it, I haven’t. Weird! I have no idea what that would look like!”
And just the other night, she came home saying, “OMG, BRITTANY! I just saw…. A DUCK DICK!”
“No. Way. What does it look like?”
“A CORKSCREW!!!!”
At first I was like, nah-uh. But then I Googled it, sho ’nuff:
Mmm… funyun anyone? It also reminds me … isn’t there something about the Devil having a curly penis? Why do I feel like I’ve seen a drawing of Satan with a corkscrew dick? I KNOW I’ve seen something somewhere, but I can’t find it. Anyway, I’ll save the religious porn studies for another post. THIS ONE is strictly for science and nature. Further research shows that a kind of duck is actually one of the the most well-endowed (proportionally) of all the animal kingdom:
The Argentine Blue-bill or Argentine Lake Duck (Oxyura vittata) is a small South American stiff duck. What’s paradoxical in this equation is that most birds do not even have a penis, except ostriches (and related groups, like kiwi and tinamous), ducks, geese and swans.
Bird penis in flaccid state curled up inside the cloaca. Well, a specimen of Argentine blue-bill duck had a remarkable 42.5 cm (17 inches) long penis (photo center) (the average length of this species is 20 cm (8 inches))!
The flaccid penis is coiled but fully erect is twice the size of the bird: it is like us having a 3.5 m (12 feet) penis…
Biologists believe that the duck’s penis evolved into the great length it is today due to competitive breeding. The males will actually use his curly pee pee to “chimney sweep” another male’s sperm out of a female duck.
Meanwhile, the actual largest penis in the world belongs to the Blue Whale, which is approximately 8 feet. Gorilla penises are surprisingly about the size of a pencil. The only thing that beats a duck’s dick is a barnacle dick. Because barnacles are sedentary animals, their penises grow to great lengths (40 times bigger than themselves) so they can tap that ass of their neighbor. And your last Phallic Fun Fact Of The Day is that cephalopods (squids, octopuses) has one of their arms (hectocotylus) turned into a penis. Now you know!
Tags: avian penis | barnacle penis | bird sex | cephalopod | corkscrew | corkscrew dick | devil penis | devil-039s dick | duck dick | duck penis | octopuses | pig tail | pig tail dick | pig tail penis | satan-039s penisRelated posts
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5 Responses for "The Incredible Penis"
“competitive breeding”?
is that what’s going on in the ghetto?
“The best time to get pregnant is when you’re a black teenager” - Sarah Silverman
about that 8 foot penis.
that’s huge.
but in comparison to the whale, not so.
A corkscrew penis. You don’t suppose this is where the term, “screw you” came from? Or, “screwing around”?
You’ve seen the blogs this week about the well-endowed American who’s donating his big willie to the penis museum in Iceland? Having his specimen named “Elmo” surgically removed and plastinated. They’re even making a documentary movie about it, FYI.
Chris, LINK ME TO ELMO!!!!! That’s totally awesome.
[...] the Blue Whale, which is approximately 8 feet. Gorilla penises are surprisingly about the size …http://blog.synthesis.net/2008/05/21/the-incredible-penis/05-27-08 EUR ALL ON ONE PAGE EurwebR. KELLY TEAM WANTS REPORTER ON the STAND: Plus, defense wants [...]
[...] my attention. And it??s still happening?? My roommate and I have had this on-going discussion …http://blog.synthesis.net/2008/05/21/the-incredible-penis/Bay News Bay News NorthBay was awarded a mini-grant from the Chesapeake Bay Trust in the amount of [...]
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