This just in: Barry Zito fucking suuuuuucks.

Anybody who even remotely pays attention to sports heard about the 7 year 126 MILLION dollar contract Barry Zito signed with the Giants before last season. At the time it was viewed by everyone but the Giants front office as a financially irresponsible signing, but now it has turned in to nothing short of the worst free agent acquisition EVAR!!! Zito’s record is now an historically bad 0-8, and even though he has been “better” since being demoted to the bullpen for a few days, in his last start 14 out of the 28 hitters he face reached base. I would be willing to bet that if you put a batting tee at home plate instead of Barry Zito 14 out of 28 batters wouldn’t reach base. I mean, that’s almost hard to do. Shit, I’ll bet that even if Bengie Molina pulled a Crash Davis (Major League is a cinematic masterpiece btw) and told the hitters what was coming it would STILL be hard for 14 out of 28 of them to reach base!

Not that he needs any more money, but I just thought of a great endorsement deal for Zito to sign. He would be the perfect spokesman for a chiropractor, because his neck has got to be sore from whipping his head around so often and watching all of those balls leave the yard.

Great signing Brian Sabean!!! You are now 0 for the last 5 years and you STILL HAVE A JOB!!! Wow Giants. wow.

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