Let’s have a beach party!!!!

With this picture of a polar bear eating a horse’s head.

Oh, The Onion, your daring ventures into internet television have not gone unnoticed!

Army Holds Annual ‘Bring Your Daughter To War’ Day

If Madonna went to Chico State (our local college) she’d probably frequent the bars Riley’s and Franky’s and take her shirt off a lot. I can see it now, the frat bros hollering, “YEAH! Chico! WOOO!!!” the sorority girls crying, “OMG, WHAT A BETCH!” and me googling that Urban Dictionary word I saw the other day… damn, what was it?

Barsexual: A heterosexual girl or woman who partakes in any sort of sexual or promiscuous activity with another female to get attention from males. This usually takes the form of making out, and to a lesser extent, grinding or dry humping with another female.

This is a common sight at bars (hence the word barsexual) but can also be found at any party, especially frat parties. [and now, Madonna concerts!]

The reason for such acts has baffled researchers for years, but it is thought that they seek attention [Madonna], free drinks, or are prudes too scared to get with men.

What was, earlier this year, the last ditch, pull-in-case-of-emergency contingency option of declaring bankrupcy has becoming the reality for the city of Vallejo, whose city council voted unanimously last night to file for Chapter 9 Bankruptcy Protection:

The council and several speakers said the city simply will have no money on July 1 and cannot tell its employees to come to work because there is no money to pay them. Councilwoman Stephanie Gomes, an ardent supporter of the city’s filing for bankruptcy, said, “I want to make sure the City Council is in charge of this city and not those who comprise 80 percent of our general fund.” Countering the assertion that bankruptcy would tarnish the city’s image, Gomes said, “Who wants to move to a city that can’t address its problems?” Mayor Osby Davis said bankruptcy would be “a long, hard, difficult process.” “We will rise out of this darkness and we will shine again,” Davis said.

Good luck brah! In a stroke of utter coincidence…Vallejo’s most famous export, N2Deep is playing here in Chico tonight. POUR SOME OUT FOR THE HOMIES BACK IN V-TOWN RELLIE! Maybe they could help kickstart the local economy by opening a “Back to the Hotel” themed hotel. Could be a real winnar!

For years, friends of mine on the touring circuit would speak in reverent, hushed tones about the man they called Nightbeast, a roadie and TM for bands like Hawthorne Heights by day, but a one-man musical genius by night. I finally met the man, the myth the legend, Nick Nightbeast when he came through town tour managing Metro Station. We had some beers and bonded over being fat, bearded men in a scrawny boy world and I was instantly convert into a follower of the Beast. And I’m not alone: Nightbeast’s new full length, Inside Jokes for Outside Folks, dropped in stores everywhere yesterday and there were I’m sure, literally tens of people waiting breathlessly to purchase it. For those who weren’t though, might I suggest taking a perusal of the Beast’s Purevolume page, where the record can currently be streamed in its entirety for FREE? You’ll be glad you did.