While the rest of the world is beginning to face a major food crisis, prompting the UN to get off their collective fat ass, Americans are still trying their best to lose weight. Today on the Morning Show, one of the topics was the HCG Diet, which includes injecting HCG (Human ChorioGonadotropin) Hormone while eating a daily 500-calorie diet. Hey, here’s an idea:

How about instead of injecting your body with hormones and starving yourself, JUST EAT LESS. Try getting off the HOG diet.

Here’s another idea: instead of driving every single place you go, work off some of that FAT ASS of yours and ride a bike. Instead of taking the elevator, take the stairs. You fat ass piece of shit.

Pour out some of your 40 ounce for the 16th anniversary of the L.A. Riots and drink up in celebration of the release of Grand Theft Auto 4. Coincidence? I think not.

We recently had the wonderful opportunity to have Fred Mascherino and Matt Fleishman from The Color Fred come by Synthesis Weekly Managing Editor Ryan Prado’s apartment above the historic Senator Theatre here in Chico to play a couple songs acoustic and chat about life. Needless to say, they were fucking badass. Check out “Complaintor” above and then go to our YouTube channel to see them perform “If I Surrender” and see the interview sesh. And if that doesn’t get your Color Fred jones fulfilled, you can also download our sparkling new Macbeth Digital Magazine, which includes an in-depth interview with Fred himself, along with other exclusive interviews, style guides, music and videos from all the wonderful Macbeth sponsored bands. LEARN ABOUT IT

A producer friend of mine just turned me onto to something he was justifiably excited about, a third-party application for the Apple iPhone that allows it to remotely control ProTools. This would allow someone to monitor their fader automation and any sort of other conceivable adjustments from outside the control room, or conceivably outside the studio altogether. Real shit. No wonder Apple continues to stack mad fucking loot. Now if we could just get them to make the iCar, iKid, iWife, iBeer, etc, life would be so, so much better.

A tornado in southeast Virginia touched down today, injuring at least 200 civilians in Suffolk. Video of the path of the tornadoes destruction looks horrifying, and the Governor has issued a state of emergency.

 The storm hit the 138-bed Sentara Obici Hospital, though Spieldenner said the facility was still operational and accepting patients.

A second storm, possibly a tornado, struck Colonial Heights — about 60 miles northwest, near Richmond — injuring at least 18 people, Spieldenner said.

Gov. Tim Kaine declared a Virginia-wide state of emergency as hazardous weather continued through the central part of the state.

The twister touched down just before 4 p.m. ET in Suffolk and plowed its way east into Norfolk, damaging scores of homes, stores and cars and downing dozens of trees and power lines, said National Weather Service meteorologist Bryan Jackson.

Pat Riley, otherwise known as the slick-shoed former coach of the LA Lakers during their ’80s dynasty (and apparent Miami Vice enthusiast) and recent Miami Heat head coach, has retired. BUT, the ever-vigilent Riley is already the team president, so he’ll move right into place making deals and raking in the dough. He has named 37 year old Erik Spoelstra as his replacement, a former video room assistant.

Pat Riley has enjoyed a string of successful teams and seasons, but has not looked nearly as slick as when Kurt Rambis, James Worthy and Magic squeaked up the floor.  Ah, glory days…