The reason is you can do pretty much whatever the hell you want. Like if you’re Robin Williams and you decide “fuck it, wifey’s getting old, and that artist I was introduced to at that party was making eyes. It’s ON.” Pretty sure that’s exactly how it happened. The celebrity-gossip blogosphere is BUZZING with the news that Funnyman Robin Williams has been boinking 27-year-old artist Charlotte Filbert. This was originally reported by the bastions of supermarket aisle integrity, The National Enquirer. No, I’m pretty sure they didn’t use the term “boinking.” That’s all mine. Trying to bring that one back. The pair were introduced by mutual friend Ally Hillfinger (erstwhile television personality and daughter of Tommy).

In the Feudal Age Kings could be - and indeed were SUPPOSED to be - dirty old men. In fact, for us mere mortal men, that’s like the one thing we have to look forward to once the pubes go gray: being a dirty old man. Infidelity aside, I can sympathize with poor Williams, 56 years old, famous and deciding he wants to fuck something that less resembles a baseball mitt (no offense to soon-to-be former Mrs. Williams, I’m speaking in general here).

Wait, never mind. Yeeeeeichh. Maybe 25 years ago… The couple had been separated for upwards of two years (as some reports claim), and divorce papers were filed on 3/21/08. Now the Williams will be working out the blood money…and this claim surfaces two weeks after the papers were filed? COINCIDENCE?

I guess that’s one thing that separates Feudal Royalty from Today’s Stars: You still gotta pay out the nose for your misdeeds. That and you don’t need to worry about getting scurvy.

Scott Weiland is no longer a member of Velvet Revolver. The former frontman of STP has chosen to split with the “super band” after a long standing history of poor band relations. Weiland, though, is quite agitated over comments made by Slash in a recent interview.

“This band is all about its fans and its music and Scott Weiland isn’t 100 percent committed to either. Among other things, his increasingly erratic on stage behavior and personal problems have forced us to move on.”

Wasting no time, Weiland shot back with his own venom in a recent email exchange with MTV News.

“After reading the comment by Duff, Matt, Dave and the illustrious ‘Guitar Hero,’ Saul Hudson, a.k.a. Slash, I find it humorous that the so-called four ‘founding members’ of Velvet Revolver, better known to themselves as ‘the Project’ before I officially named the band, would decide to move on without me after I had already claimed the group dead in the water on March 20 in Glasgow.

In response to Slash’s comment regarding my commitment [to the band], I have to say it is a blatant and tired excuse to cover up the truth. The truth of the matter is that the band had not gotten along on multiple levels for some time. On a musical level, there were moments of joy, inspiration, fun … at times. But let’s not forget the multiple trips to rehab every member of the band had taken (with the exception of one member - no need to mention his name).

Personally speaking, I choose to look forward to the future and performing with a group of friends I have known my entire life, people who have always had my back. This also speaks to my commitment to my music and my fellow bandmates in [Stone Temple Pilots] and to the fans who I feel would much rather watch a group of musicians who enjoy being together as opposed to a handful of discontents who at one time used to call themselves a gang.”

That’s a lot of beef right there. I suppose I would have to jump on the side of Weiland, even with his checkered past as an unreliable band mate. Reason being: The G’N'R fellas have more collected disaster and absurdity in their closets than the boogie man. It’s hard to imagine how Velvet Revolver lasted as long as they did with the current lineup. And, furthermore, they’ve always been lame anyhow. I think it’s for the best that these guys part ways. Let’s hope that Weiland does reunite with STP, where at least his vocal talents will be put to some use.

Just when you thought the story couldn’t smell more like old douche, you find out he was driving a $175,000 Lamborghini (ZOMG ’80s!) and that he didn’t even show up to his own trial:

The singer was stopped by police in June 2007 while driving a Lamborghini at 160km per hour down a street in Surrey, Canada and was found to have a blood alcohol content of more than .08.

The singer was not present in court for the news, with his lawyer Marvin Stern saying he was in Europe “for recording or producing music. “I’m not exactly sure (which).”

ROCK ‘N’ ROLL MAN!

I like dogs. And the world’s tallest dog lives in Grass Valley, CA. His name is Gibson, and he’s a Harlequin Great Dane. This strapping 7-footer even has a website. But does anyone else see something potentially ridiculous about to take place in this picture?

There are plenty of reasons to become a pop star (free drugs, high-profile arrests, your mug plastered in insensitively snide blogs), but one of the foremost is being able to marry a totally hot young wife, then 20 years later, marry another totally hot young wife.

Let’s face it, Billy Joel was a great pop writer in his day, but he hasn’t put out anything memorable since he “retired from pop music” with River of Dreams in 1993…(and between you and I, that album wasn’t all that stellar). But still, he’s Billy Joel. He freaking wrote “The Piano Man.” In 1985 he married Christie Brinkley (former swimsuit model, current MILF). Let’s take a look of what Billy Joel looked like in the mid ’80s.

Okay, a bit pudgy. Plus that leather jacket really makes his natural wimpiness shine through. Alright, now Brinkley?

Yow. 1983 makeup and hairdo aside, that’s a legitimately good looking woman. Looking down the track list of Billy Joels’ Greatest Hits Vol 1, you see what she might have found initially attractive in him.

Brinkley and Joel divorced in 1994. Back in the Feudal age, kings had to chop off some heads and, well, break ties with the Catholic Church to pull off that kind of coup. Nowadays, all you have to do is write “She’s Got A Way” and look something like this:

Yet he’s married to television personality and chef Katie Lee:

Keep in mind he hasn’t released a hit single since 1989 (”We Didn’t Start The Fire” which was way rad and heavy as hell when you were like 11 years old), yet he still gets to marry hot, talented young women (in Katie lee’s case, 32 years his junior) once he divorces formerly young, currently still hot, talented women. The freaking nerve…

They were on Oprah yesterday, and well, here’s the damn stupid clip:

Billy Joel, I am officially jealous.

Kanye West is going corporate with the launch of his new travel website Kanye Travel Ventures. The site apparently features discount rates for hotels, rental cars, airfares, cruises and more with the potential for special travel packages (including Kanye concert tickets) in the future. Apparently the site has been a long time coming, with over a year of preparations before its launch.

Miki Woodard, president of the rapper’s company, West Brands, [said] the process has already taken nearly a year. “We did a lot of due diligence with online travel partners” before linking up with Travelocity.

Looking at the site you wouldn’t think it took a year to put together. The aesthetic is markedly plain and boring. Honestly this whole deal just seems a bit ridiculous. I’m familiar with cross-platform marketing and utilizing name recognition, but a travel site? WTF? That’s not hip-hop.