What you see here is the very first of our soon-to-be-ubiquitous Video CD Reviews, with Synthesis marketing maverick Cayle “Ride of Game” Hunter reviewing the new Hail of Bullets CD. I just did the second one, which should be finding its way to our YouTube channel tomorrow on New Found Glory’s new Greatest Hits CD HITS, and though its all well and good to be a part and parcel of the new video revolution taking hold of the web, I’d much rather take the time to sit down and write a CD review out then have to sit in front of two cameras like a spokesmodel and try to be witty on the spot without slumping too far into a chair, and try not to look lost when I’m pretending to be hearing the music coming out of the stereo that won’t be added in until long after I’ve finished filming. But hey, fuck it! If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. After all, the few hundred CD reviews I’ve written over the years on Synthesis.net put together probably haven’t even gotten half the views as one of Video Matt’s Paramore interviews, so I guess I better brush up on my enunciation and posture and get ready for my protracted, archived and cached 15 minutes of semi-fame. SIGH…

Tom’s Natural Toothpaste
Apricot
Tom’s of Maine

When it was my roommate’s turn to buy the household toothpaste I was a little bit skeptical of his choice. Homeopathic? Apricot? No fluoride? And I thought I was supposed to be the hippy of the house… To my surprise, Tom’s Natural Apricot flavored Toothpaste tastes divine, leaves no sickly-sweet aftertaste and is free of artificial ingredients. More interestingly, when you brush your teeth and then drink a glass of orange juice, you don’t get that nasty sour-mouth experience. God I hate that. What Apricot lacks in minty freshness it more than makes up for in natural whitening power. Plus, if you swallow more than a pea-sized amount, it won’t kill you. Bonus!

Here’s John Lennon fronting the very brief, Dirty Mac. And yes, that would be Mitch Mitchell on drums, Eric Clapton on lead guitar, Keith Richards on bass; “Yer Blues” never sounded so good…

After another disappointing playoff ousting, the brass in Dallas have relieved popular head coach Avery Johnson (nicknamed “The Little General”) from his duties. While Johnson was blessed with the league’s highest payroll, and such stars as Dirk Nowitzki, Johnson could not escape the shadow of his 23-24 record in playoff games (set against his impressive record of 194-70 in the regular season). Sucks for you, Avery. I always dug your style, man.

Enetertainer/magician/bat-shit-crazy human being David Blaine recently set a new world’s record for holding his breath for an astonishing 17 minutes 4 seconds underwater. The feat occurred on the set of Oprah in Chicago.

“I feel great,” the silver wetsuit-clad American said as he was pulled to the surface. “I actually started to doubt I was going to make it because I’d never done it with such a high heart rate.”

Blaine said he had managed it by staying in a meditative state which was helped by the stage lights reflecting off the sphere.

His assistants said during the event that his heart rate should have dropped far lower than it did.

Two years ago, he failed in an attempt to break the record for holding his breath underwater while simultaneously escaping from heavy chains.

Before the latest attempt inside a sphere filled with 1,800 gallons of water, Blaine spent 23 minutes inhaling pure oxygen, packing his lungs with extra oxygen just before the breathing tubes were removed.

“There’s no enhancement, no cheating,” he told Winfrey, adding that while he makes his living as a magician, his stunts were about pushing the limits of the human body.

This guy scared the shit out of me before, but knowing now that if I were to engage him physically, and choke him, that I’d have to labor for an excruciatingly long 17 minutes at least before he’d be unconscious, makes me wonder if he’s actually a real person. Who’s with me?

Once upon a time (actually, 2001) when Synthesis.net was first standing to make a name for itself in the internet game, one of our correspondents, the lovely Laney Erokan wrote a review of a Dave Matthews show in Las Vegas that featured some hippie band named Widespread Panic as openers. She wasn’t exactly feeling Widespread Panic, writing in her review:

if I could think of any word worse than “suck” to describe a band I would use it. Macy Gray also opened and for some reason she played before Widespread Panic (bad decision), so we missed Macy instead of missing Widespread Panic and had to sit through an hour of shite…long, drawn-out jams, barely any vox and just plain boring music. The only thing that kept us entertained through the hour of crap was the hippies on ecstasy

Big deal, right? I mean, so what if someone writing for some shitty website doesn’t like a band, especially one that already has a solid enough fan base. You would think it wouldn’t be a big deal, but no, all of a sudden cyber hippies were coming out of the woodwork, e-mailing us all sorts of vulgar comments and even threats of violence. Peace and love apparently go out the window when Widespread Panic is involved.

I bring this up as a warning to budding music journalists out there, as the band is set to embark upon a summer tour, including a stop at this year’s Bonnaroo Music Festival. DON’T TALK SHIT ABOUT WIDEPSREAD PANIC! You might find your prize race horse’s head laying next to you in your bed the next morning…

Dates after the jump

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