Even if you’re not a Christian, I’m sure you know about the seven deadly sins - lust, gluttony, avarice, sloth, anger, envy and pride - the seven cardinal vices that supposedly damned ones soul to eternal damnation. Well apparently not enough people are fucking up these days, because the Vatican has announced seven new additions to the list. Unlike their predecessors, the new deadly sins are a little less concise, and a little more controversial. They include:

Taking or dealing in drugs
Polluting the environment
Engaging in “manipulative” genetic science
Pedophilia
Abortion
Social injustices that cause poverty
The excessive accumulation of wealth by a few

The thing about these sins is that they’re nothing really new. It’s like when Taco Bell gets a new “Crunchy Cheesy Wrapped Super Supreme” whatever-the-fuck: its just the same shit put together in a different way. I mean, I’m sure they’re well intentioned and all but has fear of hell ever really stopped people from fucking off? I mean, Catholic Priests, supposedly the “intermediaries between Man and Divinity” get more little boy ass than an elementary school toilet seat. And “excessive accumulation of wealth?” Wigger please! From a Time Magazine article:

Bankers’ best guesses about the Vatican’s wealth put it at $10 billion to $15 billion. Of this wealth, Italian stockholdings alone run to $1.6 billion, 15% of the value of listed shares on the Italian market. The Vatican has big investments in banking, insurance, chemicals, steel, construction, real estate.

And besides, they forgot puppy throwing…

Tags: cardinal vices | catholic | priest | puppy throwing Pedophilia | seven deadly sins | Taco Bell | Vatican | wealth

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