The Childhood Goat Trauma Foundation

Were you scarred by an early experience at a petting zoo? Were you attacked mercilessly by a shirt hungry goat? You are not alone. According to the The Childhood Goat Trauma Foundation, Childhood Goat Trauma far more common than anyone could imagine:

• Each year, over 6000 people are traumatized by goats in the United States alone.

• If a child is traumatized by a goat before age five, he/she is five times more likely to become some form of social deviant.

• If treatment is received promptly, many of the extremely damaging effects of a goat trauma can be cured.

• When given a choice four out five goats will attack a child before attacking either another goat or an adult.

• These same goats will choose to assault an adult over another goat more than three times out of five.

• There are over 50,000 petting zoos in the United States.

• The majority of goat traumas occur before age eight and after age fifty-two.

• In a scientific experiment, seven out of ten goats prefer man-made fibers over natural fibers.

I mean, goats can be pretty nefarious. You think this is just a coincidence??

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