Marty From the Shins Arrested for Beating Up The Chick from America’s Next Top Model

So remember how cute it used to be when The Shins were totally changing people’s lives and the fugly dude from the band was dating Elyse Sewell from America’s Next Top Model and everyone totally wished they lived in Portland and had 34 cats and got to drink lattes in the rain all day and sing about 1805? Well all is not well in Spockville. Both Sewell and Shins bassist/keyboardist Martin Crandall were arrested this past weekend for Domestic Assault. From Sewell’s Livejournal:

Think you had a shitty weekend? Nah. Why not compare it to mine? 1.) On the drive home (home?) from Albuquerque to Portland, my ex-boyfriend got shitfaced and roughed me up in a Sacramento hotel. I escaped from the room through a blitzkrieg of violence and talked to hotel security, who called the fuzz.2.) Because he had a bite mark, inflicted in self-defense, on his arm, Marty told the police to PRESS CHARGES OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AGAINST ME. Now I am a felon.3.) I spent the night in jail. Dig the hilarious monetary contents of my wallet as described by the pig who booked me:4.) Jailors. America’s Next Top Model fans, all. As the warden took pics of my bloody knuckles for evidence (!!!! evidence!), he quipped, “So there goes that hand modeling job, huh? What’s Tyra going to say about this?” And here is how I was summoned from the holding cell for a strip-search, complete with a thorough plumbing of the boodissy: “Hey, Supermodel! Git over here!”4.) A bail bondsman (!!! I have a bail bondsman!) got me out of the hoosegow this morning and took me to a hotel room where I now await my court date. Martin Lesley Crandall is still incarcerated. You can follow his saga by searching for his name on sacsheriff.com (inmate information).So I’m stuck in Sac-town, alone and lonely, for 4-5 days until court. Court! OMFG.On the flip side, I’m single and um, ready to mingle. Blind date, anyone?

They will both be in Sacramento courtroom tomorrow to face the music. Who wants to go?

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