Lenny Dykstra Used Roids, Bro. Hella

Former Senator George Mitchell’s report on the widespread use of steroids in Major League Baseball was finally released today. Over 409 pages it basically says what most people already know, that most any decent baseball player of the last two decades was so juiced on roids that his balls were probably the size of seedless grapes:

“Everyone involved in baseball over the past two decades - commissioners, club officials, the players’ association and players - shares to some extent the responsibility for the steroids era,” Mitchell said. “There was a collective failure to recognize the problem as it emerged and to deal with it early on.”

For added lulz, the report named names, listing 75 players who were shown to have used Performance Enhancing drugs, including Roger Clemens, Miguel Tejada, Kevin Brown, Benito Santiago, Lenny Dykstra, Chuck Knoblauch, David Justice, Mo Vaughn and Andy Pettitte. LENNY!!!?? Say it ain’t so! Full list after the jump:

• Chad Allen
• Rick Ankiel
• David Bell
• Mike Bell
• Marvin Benard
• Gary Bennett, Jr.
• Larry Bigbie
• Barry Bonds
• Kevin Brown
• Paul Byrd
• Jose Canseco
• Mark Carreon
• Jason Christiansen
• Howie Clark
• Roger Clemens
• Jack Cust
• Brendan Donnelly
• Chris Donnels
• Lenny Dykstra
• Bobby Estalella
• Matt Franco
• Ryan Franklin
• Eric Gagne
• Jason Giambi
• Jeremy Giambi
• Jay Gibbons
• Troy Glaus
• Jason Grimsley
• Jose Guillen
• Jerry Hairston, Jr.
• Matt Herges
• Phil Hiatt
• Glenallen Hill
• Darren Holmes
• Todd Hundley
• David Justice
• Chuck Knoblauch
• Tim Laker
• Mike Lansing
• Paul Lo Duca
• Exavier “Nook” Logan
• Josias Manzanillo
• Gary Matthews, Jr.
• Mark McGwire
• Cody McKay
• Kent Mercker
• Bart Miadich
• Hal Morris
• Daniel Naulty
• Denny Neagle
• Rafael Palmeiro
• Jim Parque
• Andy Pettitte
• Adam Piatt
• Todd Pratt
• Adam Riggs
• Brian Roberts
• John Rocker
• F.P. Santangelo
• Benito Santiago
• Scott Schoeneweis
• David Segui
• Gary Sheffield
• Miguel Tejada
• Ismael Valdez
• Mo Vaughn
• Randy Velarde
• Ron Villone
• Fernando Vina
• Rondell White
• Jeff Williams
• Matt Williams
• Todd Williams
• Steve Woodard
• Kevin Young
• Gregg Zaun

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