Superbug - QUICK! EVERYBODY PANIC!

QUICK! EVERYBODY PANIC!

There is a strain of staph infection on the loose and it’s COMING STRAIGHT FOR YOU!

It goes in your EAR and is more deadly than HIV.

Not even our children are safe. It’s TARGETING OUR YOUNG!

There’s NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO KEEP SAFE FROM THE SUPERBUG!

Companies are positioning themselves to MAKE MONEY OFF YOUR MISERY!

Staphylococcus aureus! Streptococcus pneunomiae! HELP!!!!!!!!!

Actually, back when I had cable television, I remember watching a show on the History Channel about WWI, and how an outbreak of tuberculoses or some shit shortly after the war actually caused more American deaths than the whole war. As much as the media hypes up some terribly imperative issue to keep use paralyzed with fear, then quickly move on to the next news item to keep us paralyzed with fear, pausing only to talk about ugly-ass vapid heiresses and movie star marriages, what ens up killing us all will inevitably be something like the common cold. YAY!

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