crap
Not that I don’t appreciate my job - getting free CDs sent to my desk daily daily isn’t exactly like facing black lung while coal mining - but I have to take offense when something comes across my desk that is just utterly wretched, and which basically makes me want to execute my eardrums with a dull pencil. You see, some bumblefuck PR firm keeps sending me every goddamned pitiful recording that Toby Keith feels inclined to release. Seriously, Toby wants to roll tape on him scratching his nuts, and they do it, and send it straight to me. The most recent addition is his Classic Christmas album fucking double disc… It’s not enough that Toby Keith has to go around churching up outlaw country like some Brawny Man caricature, but now he’s gotta go and desecrate Christmas songs with even more shittiness than with which he writes his own songs (”I Wanna Talk About Me!). No sooner did I let the lump of vomit recede back toward my stomach in a slick, acid-y stream then did I receive yet another Toby release, this one complete with a cover photo of a much less affable Toby with the title “Get My Drink On.”
ugh

I guess this is some kind of single (I’ll never know because I refuse to listen to it) for an upcoming album, correct me if I’m wrong…though I won’t care. Ingenious timing though. I implore you, Toby Keith, to first stop sucking dick, and then secondly to decide whether or not you’re a Patriot Rocker or a fucking Christian, right-wing poster boy. Because you can’t be both. PS: I hate you.

In related news, on the same day I received both of these shitty ass CDs, my friend Zach rolls up to the office listening to The Promise Ring’s Very Emergency, which I proceed to steal from him and listen to in its entirety. I’m pretty sure it’s one of the best albums of all time. Today, they saved my life. Thanks, The Promise Ring…
yo

Tags: Christmas | Get My Drink On | The Promise Ring | Toby Keith

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