Kryptonite Ain’t Really All That Crunk

So it turns out that Kryptonite, that shit Lex Luther uses to fuck up Superman, is actually a real mineral.

Researchers from mining group Rio Tinto discovered the unusual mineral and enlisted the help of Dr Stanley when they could not match it with anything known previously to science. Once the London expert had unravelled the mineral’s chemical make-up, he was shocked to discover this formula was already referenced in literature - albeit fictional literature.
“Towards the end of my research I searched the web using the mineral’s chemical formula - sodium lithium boron silicate hydroxide - and was amazed to discover that same scientific name, written on a case of rock containing kryptonite stolen by Lex Luther from a museum in the film Superman Returns.

Unfortunately, the real Kryptonite isn’t really all that. It’s white, not green. And it’s harmless, even to Supermen. Even worse, it can’t even really be called Kryptonite under international nomenclature rules since their is already a gas called Krypton in the periodic table. So instead their gonna call it some wigga shit. Whatever.

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