Swamp Donkey says: Women recording artists are not allowed to be fat.

The media, founders of American values, has conveyed this message over and over again, yet people don’t get it. America does not want to see fat women sing. Actually we don’t want to see fat women at all, unless they are being made fun of or proving how much weight they can lose. The only fat people in America have to be either comedians, or rappers. The Donkey is sorry to have to make an example of her, but ex-American sweetheart, Janet Jackson, is now fat. Virgin Records has given her an order to cease all work towards her new album (which is almost complete) until she loses weight. According to an article in the prominent news outlet, the NY Post, a close source to Janet explains:
Janet had a really bad year. After the incident at the Super Bowl, it just went downhill. Her album ‘Damita Jo’ was a flop. Then her brother Michael had the child-molestation trial - it just wasn’t good to her. This new album is supposed to be pretty good, but Virgin feels it can’t market it without Janet being back in fighting form, so they have hired her a personal trainer and put her on a diet. She has to lose at least 20 pounds.
The Donkey couldn’t agree more. Why do you think Willson Phillips fell off so hard? Janet is now tainted in the eyes of America. If she tries to pull another publicity accident, like at the Super Bowl for her last album Damita Jo, the only thing that will hit the floor faster than The Donkey’s jaw would be her breasts.

- Swamp Donkey

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