Three words:

1. King
2. Kong
3. Sucked.

Last night, thinking, “Hot damn, I need to see a great movie after being disappointed with MirrorMask and being slightly pleased with Rent“. But King Kong wasn’t it.

Thinking Peter Jackson could do no wrong with his spot-on adaptation of the Lord of the Rings and his other bizarro movies Meet the Feebles and his lesbian surreal murder flick (whose name escapes me), but damn yo, this ape flick was painful.

Overly mugging for the cameras like a second rate comedian/musician, Jack Black couldn’t act his way out of grade school. And Naomi Watts - vastly wasting her talents - screamed and shrieked like any actor in a Rob Zombie movie. But the saddest underuse of talent seemed to fall on Andy Serkis (who played Gollum in the LoTR trilogy). He was so underused that I still have no idea which character he played. Was he King Kong? Was he one of the lizards? Was he playing himself?

While the special effects were amazing, some parts of the movie were nauseating (Naomi juggling and doing a song and dance to amuse the ape)… and some parts you can’t suspend your disbelief (the “romantic” ice sliding scene in Central Park; the lack of chaos when King King finds his gal in the middle of Union Square)…

Seeing Peter Jackson hang himself like this was painful… that’s almost like if Ang Lee directed a movie based on a comic book, like The Hulk, and it sucked really badly. Ha… like THAT would ever happen.

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